Malleable
by MDemagogue
Summary: Dr. Sam Evans, a Nobel Prize winning physicist, has lived a life of regret. He has a chance to deal with his biggest one. Will he be successful?
1. If I Could Turn Back Time

4

A/N: Random science fiction idea that popped into my head today. I'm on a Sam/Kurt high, and it's not helped by pictures of Chord Overstreet wearing glasses. Lord. Feel free to read and review. I don't own Glee. Rated T. I think this will be a three part story.

Malleable

Chapter 1: If I Could Turn Back Time

SamPOV

Each morning, I woke up in my house, alone. I went for a morning walk or run, depending on my mood and the weather. I would come back to my house and do some weight lifting to keep myself in top form. Breakfast, then off to campus. I taught advanced physics at MIT. My research was groundbreaking, and I had won two Nobel Prizes in Physics for my research.

I lived a few blocks from campus, so after my morning ritual, I grabbed my briefcase and walked to my lab. I scanned my thumb into the secure locking system on the door and the door slid open. The phone at my desk was ringing, so I raced over and answered it.

"Evans here, talk to me." I said

"Dr. Evans, this is Dr. Halsted. Dean Erickson and myself need to have a meeting with you regarding your latest budget. Does 10am work for you?"

I looked at the clock. 9:36. "Yeah, I suppose."

"Alright." The line went dead.

I pulled up a webpage with the latest headlines on it. I scowled. President Anderson was undergoing a trial separation from his partner. Sleazebag. I grabbed the first glass object I could find and I threw it at the wall.

"Goddamn that son of a bitch!"

* * *

><p>Losing control of myself, I considered smashing up the rest of my office. My eyes darted to a framed photo at my desk though. Kurt. More specifically, New Directions in New York City. Sitting on a bench in Central Park, we were sitting next to each other. I was gazing at him, and for all too brief a moment, his gaze was turned on me.<p>

Even then, he was with Blaine. The bastard. The NYU undergrad, then NYU law student. The New York City Congressman. The Senator from New York. The President. The philanderer.

Every swear word or phrase that I could direct at Blaine, I could. Gladly. Except for one term. Coward. I kept that one for myself. It hurt a thousand times worse than any invective I could direct at him.

Kurt had wanted to go to New York when he got done with High School in Lima. He went to New York with Blaine and Rachel Berry. Away, in a new city, with only those two, he changed. His support systems weren't there for him. I went to Princeton for my undergraduate studies, and the rest of us dispersed across the country. He was alone. He became convinced that he needed to change. So he did.

For his 21st birthday, I drove up to NYC for the weekend. I had earned a weekend off, and so I went up there to surprise him. I was stunned. This wasn't the Kurt I knew. This was the Kurt I saw at Sectionals when he went to Dalton. The one who was depressed and plastered a fake smile on his face to mask his unhappiness with the world. The unhappiness we could see if we had bothered to look.

We had a brief conversation, where I could see his unhappiness. I asked if he wanted to come back to Princeton for a week, and he replied that I was too late. He knew my feelings before I knew them. I thought then that it would have been dishonorable to push, so I retreated. It was dishonorable to have not pressed the issue. He became Mr. Kurt Hummel-Anderson, I sent the happy couple a toaster.

* * *

><p>I left my lab and headed over to the Administration building. I took the stairs up to the 3rd floor and went to the Dean's office. Her secretary announced me, and Martha Erickson strode out to greet me.<p>

"Dr. Evans, you're on time. . . " Dean Erickson said with a puzzled expression on her face.

"Being here beats reflecting on the past in my office." I replied.

"Perhaps." she said as we walked into her office

Dr. Max Halsted was seated inside. Fifty something, and going grey, he was the chair of the physics department here at MIT. He resented me. I would resent me too, were I in his position.

"Dr. Evans." He said.

"Dr. Halsted."

Dean Erickson took charge. "Let's get down to brass tacks shall we? Dr. Evans, your latest project is 50 million over budget. We don't even know what this project is, or what it will do. Attempts to get that information from you have been met with dismissals."

"50 million what?" I asked

"Dollars." Dr. Halsted responded.

"50 million dollars? That's what we're meeting over? 50 MILLION DOLLARS? If it were 50 million Euros or pounds sterling, we'd have something to talk about. This is a waste of my time."

"It's not a waste of time Dr. Evans. You're only as good as your last stroke of brilliance." Dean Erickson stated.

"Well, then the only stroke of brilliance that you've had was hiring me. Here's what I'll do then. I'll write to one of the various corporations whose profit margins have improved vastly because of the innovations I've made, and I'll request that they donate a generous sum to MIT equivalent to the deficit I've ran in my research, with a cherry on top. Since that's probably what you've called me in here to request, I'm sure we're good. Next time, you can just text me this request and not waste my time."

Stony silence dropped down into the office. I decided to push forward.

"I could always tender my resignation. Perhaps I could forward the top 20 offers I've received this year to you Dean Erickson, and maybe you could help me pick a new place to spread my wings."

"You've made your point Dr. Evans."

"As for the project in question, it is my intention to test it this afternoon. I don't know whether or not it will work. It might change the world if it does. If it doesn't work, I'll make sure that the campus is compensated for the budgetary expenses. Are we done here?"

"Quite."

Max and I left the office.

"You know, Sam, that I'm just trying to look out for you."

"With respect, Dr. Halsted, you have no idea how to look out for me. I am more than capable of taking care of myself, thank you."

"I've said my peace."

"You have. Good day, Max."

* * *

><p>I walked back into the lab building. Again I scanned my thumb and entered my lab space. I exhaled, and looked at the glass figure I had shattered in my anger this morning. I swept shards up, and tossed it into the trash. Fortunately, it was only a paperweight. A trinket given to me by some corporation for doing some work on efficiency for them some time in the past. Meaningless.<p>

Opening my briefcase, I took out a flashdrive, my iPad 25 and my iPhone 26. I put the flashdrive into my computer, and opened it up. There was one program on there that took up one exabyte* of space. Thousands of hours of my life had went into this program. Years of my life.

All so I could have a conversation with my 16 year old self. So I could tell him to be brave. So that I could change my life. I had one chance. I hit enter.

The nano-generators in the lab came online. Electricity crackled in the air. It was working!

The program went into it's second phase which was the destination. I hurriedly opened up the GPS function on my iPad and scrolled to the search I had done of my old address in Lima. I entered in the data, altering the gps coordinates slightly, so as to appear at the end of the block.

The electricity crackling in the air began to swirl tightly around. The program entered it's third phase. The computer display asked for date and time. I entered in September 19, 2010 at 8:45 am. The electrical field condensed into a ball of swirling light.

The final phase was the recall phase. I entered in 9:45 am and the device to be recalled from as the serial number of the iPhone I was carrying.

"Please God, let this work." I stowed my gear into my briefcase and jumped into the ball of light.

The world went black.

*According to some calculations, the entirety of human thought can be stored on 5 exabytes.


	2. Here Comes the Sun

6

A/N: This is chapter 2. I think there'll be two more after this, with an option to renew. I still don't own Glee, but I'm happy that my panic about Chord Overstreet being cut from Glee was, hopefully, just that. I'm cautiously optimistic about the situation. For that matter, I don't own the rights to "Here Comes the Sun" by The Beatles (specifically George Harrison) Feel free to read and review!

Malleable

Chapter 2: Here Comes the Sun

2036SamPOV

The swirling light that was created by the activation of the nano generators coupled with some very specific mathematical equations was supposed to create a temporary rift in the space-time continuum. The theory, of course, was untested. None of that really mattered to me as I jumped into the portal that was created.

The world went black. I floated in nothingness. I looked around at my surroundings, trying to figure out what to do. It wasn't an unfamiliar place to be in. I swam through the void, doing backflips with ease. Long moments of that began to wear on me. It was, in a word, boring.

I wasn't scared though. Were this a permanent situation, I would die in a matter of days and that would be that. An accelerated suicide, but not a sudden one. I might have to live with it. Not for very long though.

A point of light behind me cast a dim light on the area that I was in. Still completely black, but I could hold my hand up in front of my face and see it. I turned, looking for the source of the light. It wasn't overly far away, so I decided to take a swim through the air to it.

I arrived at the source of the light. A small hole in the barrier where I was at allowed this pale light to pierce the darkness. I knocked on the barrier, and the sound echoed through the chamber. My irritation began to rise as I contemplated the situation I was in. I had wasted so much time, only to create a prison for myself.

This time, instead of knocking on the barrier, I cocked a fist and punched it. A crack formed and light began to pour through it. Wind rushed in, widening the crack that had formed. The wind staggered me, as I had nothing to be grounded by. More light poured in as the wall began to fall apart. The gusts of wind and the beams of light swept me away, and I fell for what seemed like an eternity.

I came to a less than graceful landing. I ended up landing on my ass on a pile of leaves in a front yard. Dusting myself off, I got up. I looked to the West and I saw the Shawnee Country Club*, and it's golf course. I knew then, that I had been successful. I was back in Lima, Ohio.

I walked up the street toward where my family used to live. I saw them, leaving for Sunday service. My mom, my dad, and my two siblings. My younger self wasn't with them. I had started staying home on Sundays, because I didn't feel comfortable going to Church. The whole being gay thing, you know.

My dad put the car into reverse, and backed out of the driveway. They drove down the street. I strode up to my old house, and knocked on the door.

The door opened.

* * *

><p>2010SamPOV<p>

I turned the bolt on the door, and opened it. Standing outside, with his fist raised to knock again was a man wearing glasses, with brown hair**. He looked up at me, and I found myself staring into my own eyes. Aged a bit, but they were still, unmistakably, mine.

"This can't be happening."

"May I come in?"

"I suppose so. Wouldn't want Miss Cooper from across the street gossiping about a man here at 9am would we?"

"Most definitely not."

He crossed the threshold, carefully avoiding contact with me, and went into the kitchen. I followed him in there, where I was surprised to see him reaching up to the third shelf on the cabinet above the sink. He grabbed the half empty bottle of Jack Daniels, and poured two shots.

"Isn't it a little early in the morning for that?"

"It's 5 o'clock somewhere. Also you look pale."

I glanced in the window above the sink, and agreed with him. I took the shot that he offered me.

"To the future?" I asked.

"To altering the future." He responded.

"Figures." I said, clinking the glasses and downing mine. The whiskey burned as it made its way through my system. I coughed a little, leaning against the counter. He wordlessly took my shot glass and washed it, dried it, and put both away. He filled a glass of water and wordlessly handed it over to me. I drank it, and put the glass in the sink.

"You look much better. Do you mind if we go up to your room?"

"Why?"

"We need to talk about the present."

"We can't do that in the living room."

"Not as effectively. I don't have much time."

I shrugged my shoulders at him and led the way upstairs.

"Second door on the right?"

"I know where my room is."

I opened the door, and sat on the bed, letting my older self have the chair at my desk.

"Do you have the MP3 files from Kurt?"

I jumped up from the bed, staring daggers at him.

"I'm not doing anything to hurt him, you understand me?"

He turned, and looked at me. He took off his glasses, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. His eyes were shining.

"Quite the contrary. I'd never want to hurt him."

"Then, lets get off to a start. What's this all about? When are you from?"

"I'm from 2036. This is about changing what for me is the past, but for you is the present to very near future."

"What do 60 MP3's have to do with changing the future?"

"Have you listened to them yet?"

"No, I haven't."

"May I use your computer?"

"Sure."

"I know the passwords."

* * *

><p>I'll be the first to admit that it was a bit surreal seeing my older self accessing my computer. He did know the password though, muttering the whole time about how damn slow technology was at this time.<p>

"So, what's the future like?"

"You're unhappy, living a bleak existence, but you're financially well off. That's something right?" Older Sam said drily.

"Why am I unhappy?"

"You choose poorly." He said, doing a good impression of the knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

"More specifically, you chose not to fight for someone until it was too late."

"That someone being Kurt."

"Yes."

"What's the future like for everyone else?"

"I don't know that I can tell you that. I mean, I've taken a bit of a risk just coming here after all. If I alter the future even more, who knows what will happen?"

"Who knows what will happen by you just being here?"

"You're right. Yet, it seems to me that it's best that I err on the side of caution here."

"So, what do you want to change in the here and now then?"

"Kurt is going to drop you as a partner tomorrow. Finn pressured him to do so, and he'll pressure you about it. You internalize some of that pressure, because he appeals to your concerns about popularity. I'm here to tell you that popularity doesn't matter worth a damn. Those people, by and large, don't matter. You know that already, but you don't really accept it as a conclusion. You need to."

"That's easy for you to say."

"I acknowledge that. It is easy for me to tell you what you should care about in hindsight. That's why they call it that. Hence why we're going to listen to some Mp3's. So many different selections to choose from. I guess we'll start with Here Comes the Sun. That alright with you?"

"Um, sure, I guess."

He clicked on it, and the music began to flow out of the speakers.

* * *

><p>Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,<br>and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter  
>Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here<br>Here comes the sun, here comes the sun  
>and I say it's all right<p>

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces  
>Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here<br>Here comes the sun, here comes the sun  
>and I say it's all right<p>

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...  
>Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...<br>Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...  
>Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...<br>Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting  
>Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear<p>

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,  
>and I say it's all right<br>It's all right

The room was quiet as we both listened to Kurt's voice sing. A wistful, longing expression was on my future self's face, and I probably was sharing the same expression. Tears flowed unashamedly down his face as he turned away from me. His shoulders shook with the sobs that he was attempting, in vain, to suppress.

I stood up from the bed and went over to him. I gathered the broken me into my arms. He was sitting on 20+ years of regret, and it burst forth from him. His tears covered my shirt.

After a few minutes, he lifted his head up. His eyes were gleaming, puffy, and red. Despite all of that, he had a beatific smile on his face.

"It's been over 20 years since I've heard him sing. I didn't know it would affect me like this." He explained to me.

"It's alright. He does have an amazing voice doesn't he?" I replied.

"Yes. Think about that for a moment, would you? If the person behind that voice is ten percent as amazing as that voice is, wouldn't they be worth doing anything for?"

My own tears spilled over at that point. "Yes, he's worth it."

"The best thing though, is that he's not just ten percent as amazing as his voice is. He is kind, generous, compassionate, intelligent, and beautiful. The worst thing about it, the absolute worst, is that people hate him. How could anyone hate him?"

An unfamiliar ringtone sounded in the room.

"Damnit! I thought I had more time. Please, please fight for him!" My older self said as he left the room.

I went after him. I saw him hurry down the stairs and into the backyard, where he fished out a phone and held it up. A beam of light materialized and he was gone.

I will.

*I found the Shawnee Country Club on the Google map of Lima. Since Sam's family came to Lima after his dad got a good promotion, it seemed not unreasonable to have them living in a presumably upper middle class area.

**He's got Brown hair IRL, I think, or some of the latest pictures have him with it.


	3. Wearing the Mask

6

A/N: There's been a bit of a heat wave here, so my writing has suffered for it. Today is the first day it has been below 95 for the past week, and of course, I'm staggered with a huge headache. Oh well. Still don't own Glee.

Malleable

Chapter 3: Wearing the Mask

2010SamPOV

After seeing my future self get beamed up, so to speak, I was at a bit of a loss. My future self had been rather ineffective at accomplishing what he had set out to do. He hadn't really given me a plan of attack to carry out.

You'd think that with all the research and preparation that went into taking a trip through time, that he would have a game plan. I paced my room, uncertain of what to do. I settled for listening to some more of the mp3's that Kurt had sent to my email address. A good portion of it was music I was unfamiliar with, like a song called "Rose's Turn" which was really amazing. I listened to that one a couple of more times. I thought it was original at first, because he talked about his personal experiences with Rachel Berry, and his dad. I looked it up on YouTube and it was part of a Broadway work called Gypsy. The song had been sung by a whole bunch of names that I didn't recognize like Patti LuPone, Bernadette Peters, and Ethel Merman, to name a few. I'm sure that Kurt could tell me all about them.

It was a very emotionally angry performance from him, which seemed to be uncharacteristic of Kurt. It made me wonder about him. His relationships to other people in the club, his relationship with his father. Whether or not he had any friends outside of Mercedes.

* * *

><p>While not alone, he certainly was isolated due to being gay. Something I shared with him, but I wasn't out and didn't maintain a demeanor that suggested that I was. The not being out aspect certainly opened doors to me that would have been shut otherwise. I wondered what would happen if I did come out. I was on the injured list for football, so I was sidelined. Eventually, though, I did want to get back into it. Would my teammates be willing to follow my lead? I highly doubted it. As it was, the non-Glee members of football barely tolerated Finn's Quarterbacking of the team, and that was because he didn't exactly challenge the conclusions that they had drawn. He didn't seem too keen on defending Kurt from them either. Fortunately, I could defend myself.<p>

So, being the quarterback probably wasn't an option. I was reasonably sure that Coach Beiste would find a position for me if I still wanted to play. For that matter, I was sure that Beiste wouldn't put up with any shit from the team. Realistically, though, there was only so much that she could do.

I opened my backpack and took out a notebook. I tore a blank piece of paper out of it, and created two columns labeled pros and cons. This was how my father made decisions. In the cons column, I wrote football. I also wrote friends, because I would lose some, and others wouldn't want anything to do with me. At least, that's what Finn said. Conversely, I didn't think that I would want anything to do with people who would be unwilling to be friends with me if I were friends, or more with Kurt.

On the other hand, Finn had lied to me about Glee being a route to popularity. The slushie to the face that I had got on Friday was proof of that. Finn also said that singing a duet with Kurt would be a death sentence. Looking over the evidence, it seemed rather scant. Why would singing a duet with Kurt be a death sentence? According to Finn's logic, it would be because singing a duet with a guy would be not keeping a low profile. Yet, who would know about it? I mean, it's not like the Glee members in football actually talked about Glee to members of the football team. We got made fun of for our participation in Glee, but we didn't talk about what we did in there.

For that matter, the Cheerios in Glee club were unlikely to also talk about Glee in Cheer practice. They didn't want to earn the ire of Sue after all. So, that just left 3 people. Tina, Artie, and Mercedes. Mercedes would be happy for Kurt that I was willing to sing with him. I doubted that Tina and Artie would care. However, that only dealt with the people in the club. There were the AV Club people, the band people who practiced with us as well. Who was to say who they would tell or how they would react? Maybe Finn was on to something after all.

So, my future self was right that I would be sacrificing popularity as well. I wrote that under the Cons list along with Football and friends, with a question mark next to friends.

* * *

><p>Still nothing in the pros column.<p>

I wrote Kurt's name in the Pros column. My future self seemed convinced of his worth. Again, I wished that he would have given me more insight. He was like Albus Dumbledore in that he was withholding vital information from me that I needed to know to complete a task that was important to him.

That said, Kurt seemed like a nice guy. He had went out of his way to introduce himself to me, and welcome me to the club. He had figured out my hair secret a little too rapidly, but that wasn't necessarily a character flaw. I just had to trust my future self and believe that he was worth fighting for.

I added honesty to the pros column as well. It's difficult to live a lie every day. You compartmentalize a part of yourself and seal it off from the world. Every day. One slip up, and things fall apart. Even a misinterpreted look, smile, or frown could potentially be cause for downfall. I had worn that mask at the boarding school back in Tennessee. It hid me from the world and kept me safe. It also didn't let anyone in.

I had borrowed the concept of a mask from a poem by Paul Lawrence Dunbar that I had read my Freshman year there. Never let them see you vulnerable. Always wear a false mask to hide the pain. I wore the mask to keep myself from the world. So did Kurt, in that he didn't show his pain to the world. We had that much in common, which could be a starting point.

* * *

><p>My thoughts on the subject at hand were interrupted by the front door opening, and my family coming in from church. They came back after service to get me so we could go out for lunch afterwords. I put on a polo and some khakis and went down to join them. My dad, Edward, was walking up the stairs, undoing his tie and rolling his neck.<p>

He asked, "Are you going to Breadstix with us?"

I replied, "Yeah."

He walked up the stairs to put his tie and jacket away, I continued downstairs to see my mom, Ellen, and my brother and sister, Stevie and Stacy down there. Stacy and Stevie rushed toward me, Stacy hugging my leg, and Stevie colliding with me.

"They're glad to see that you'll be joining us for lunch, dear." my mom said.

We walked out to the SUV and I buckled Stacy in the back along with myself and Stevie. My mom took the passengers seat, and my dad came out a couple of minutes later and backed the SUV out of the driveway. He turned on the radio to the oldies station, and in a funny coincidence, they were playing "Here Comes the Sun". I found myself singing along to it, which earned me a surprised glance from my dad.

"Didn't know you knew the Beatles?"

"A friend of mine sent me an mp3 of him singing this song. It's part of an assignment for Glee Club."

"Oh." My father replied, shrugging his shoulders subconsciously.

"Was it Finn who sent you that?" My mom said, innocently.

"Nah, I'm not paired with him for this project."

* * *

><p>The conversation luckily was temporarily halted by our arrival at Breadstix. We got out and walked in. My dad put our name in at the reservation desk and my mom sat down with Stevie and Stacy to wait.<p>

"Hello Ed." I turned my head to see Russell Fabray, and a woman I didn't recognize come in. She was wearing a red coat, which went along with her red hair and red glasses.

"Russell, Ms. Albertson, it's good to see you." My father said in a tone that suggested quite the opposite. It was polite, which I recognized, but it was also sarcastic, if you knew where to spot the inflections. They didn't. My mom smiled privately to herself.

Russell's gaze turned my way. "Didn't see you at church this morning Sam."

"Quite right. I've been having a theological struggle." I replied.

"It's the secular liberal fag agenda in those public schools Edward. That's why I home school my kids." Ms. Albertson replied with the zeal of a true believer.

"Tammy, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use that term around my children. It's inappropriate." My father said.

"What, secular?" Tammy Jean Albertson said.

"Tammy, I think Ed means fag. It's an offensive term, and shouldn't be used in front of my 8 year old son and 5 year old daughter." my mother replied tartly.

"Quite right. I have no problem with the term, but if it will make you feel better, I apologize for offending you." Tammy said in a monotone voice.

"Anyway, Tammy and I are here to meet with some contributors for the campaign. You'll be down to party HQ on Wednesday for the meeting, right, Ed?" Russell asked.

"Yeah, I plan on being there. Debate prep right?" my dad inquired

"Yep, you'll play the role of Charles Jordan." Russell said.

"See you then." my dad said as they went to their table. A grin split his face, making him look 10 years younger.

"Go easy on her Ed." my mom said.

"But, honey, I wouldn't be doing my duty to the party if I did that. Charles Jordan won't go easy on her. Frankly, it won't make a difference either way. She won't learn or listen. She's going to lose a district that has been Republican for 40 years." Dad said shaking his head.

"What's a fag?" Stevie asked

Me, I thought to myself.

"It's a bad word. You're not to use it." Mom replied.

I wondered if they knew. There weren't any obvious indicators that I broadcast out to the world, was there? I felt better about the situation at hand after that conversation that my parents had with Mr. Fabray and Ms. Albertson, that's for sure. I made plans to tell them this evening after my brother and sister went to bed.

* * *

><p>The server called out our name and we took our seats. I hadn't had a chance to examine the menu at Breadstix yet, so I took a look at it. It was an Italian themed restaurant, so a lot of the choices were loaded with carbs. I'd probably hate myself for a couple of weeks if I ate most of the choices. I settled on getting a bottomless salad bowl with low fat dressing. The waitress came by and took our orders and we settled in to wait.<p>

"So, who was that lady with Mr. Fabray, dad?" I asked.

My father frowned, "She's Tammy Jean Albertson. She's the congressional candidate for this district, and she's a disaster."

"So, why are you helping her?"

He templed his fingers and thought about it for a minute before hesitantly replying, "I'm not really helping her, per se. I'd say that I'm helping the rest of the members of the Allen County Republican Party see that there are better options. I see this opportunity as a teaching lesson."

"What if she wins dad?"

"Well, I don't think she will, and if she does, it won't be because of anything I did. It'll be a personal failure on my part if she does win. I'm doing the debate prep with her to show members of the party not to vote for her." Dad said, taking a drink of his coke

"Ok, dad." I said as I took a sip of water.

"Can we talk about something else?" My mom asked.

"Sure, dear. How's your shoulder doing?" Dad asked, gesturing with a breadstick at my shoulder that had been dislocated the week before.

"It's getting better. It doesn't really hurt anymore, but Coach Beiste is keeping me out for a couple of weeks to make sure that it's 100%. She doesn't want me to re-injure it."

"That's good. Let us know when you'll be taking the field."

"Will do."

"Does this mean you can give us piggy back rides now, Sammy?" Stacy asked.

"Yeah, does it?" Stevie echoed.

"Sure!" I replied.

"How's school going, dear?" My mom asked.

"It's going alright. I like my astronomy class, and we're reading Kurt Vonnegut in English, so it's good." I said.

"Harrison Bergeron is a good short story of his. Wouldn't be surprised to see the President name Diana Moon Glampers to his cabinet if he gets a second term." Dad mused sarcastically.

"Haven't read it. We're reading Cat's Cradle."

The waitress brought over our food on a platter. I helped cut up Stacy's pasta, before I sprinkled some of the dressing on the salad I had ordered. Conversation ebbed as we ate. My dad grimaced as he bit into a breadstick.

"For a place that calls itself breadstix, these are kind of mediocre." he said, setting it down.

I smiled to myself, recalling the hype that had been generated over this place in Glee club on Friday, when Mr. Schu gave out the duets assignment. Mind you, there probably weren't any other good restaurants here in Lima, and Columbus was an hour and half away roughly. So, there you go.

* * *

><p>We finished up, and Dad got the tab. I gave Stacy a piggy back ride to the SUV to show her that I could. She squealed happily as I boosted her up. I envied her in that moment. She was easily happy. We drove back to our house, and I got out of the car, letting Stevie jump onto me so I could carry him into the house.<p>

I went up to my room and started in on my homework. Astronomy was relatively easy, and I got that done relatively quickly. It took me a little longer to read the next 40 pages in Cat's Cradle, but I eventually got that done as well.

I turned towards my computer and started it back up. I went to Google and looked up duets for guys. Clicking on the first website that came up, I scrolled through the posts looking for some useful songs. There was one from Rent called "I'll cover you" which was about two gay guys in love which seemed a little risque. It also didn't make any sense to sing that, seeing as I wasn't in love with Kurt.

Some of the choices came up repeatedly, like "We can do it" from the Producers, and "You're nothing without me" from City of Angels. I looked them both up on YouTube and opened my email. I emailed Kurt the links to both of the videos. I thought he'd like both suggestions. I closed out my email, and went downstairs to the living room. My dad was in there with Stevie watching the Minnesota Vikings lose. I chuckled to myself seeing Brett Favre throw another interception, before I sat down.

Dad flipped through the channels to catch the various games that were going on, not spending much time on any of them as they were all wrapping up. We settled into a comfortable silence as we watched the next set of games. Occasionally, one of us would remark on a play that was made, or not made. Mom and Stacy came back from the grocery store, and I helped bring in groceries for the week.

Mom cooked dinner, and Dad relented and turned off the television, going into the kitchen to help Mom out with dinner. Generally, that involved him getting in her way. Tonight was no different. Watching them interact made me think about my own future. Would Kurt, if I ended up with him in a long term relationship, and I, act like my parents were? Would we adopt kids, or have a surrogate? Did I want kids? Did he?

My train of thought was interrupted by my mom calling us in for dinner. In keeping with my dietary needs, she had grilled fish with a lemon glaze, along with steamed vegetables. I had an iced tea, and dug in. My siblings weren't so inclined, but eventually they were cajoled into finishing their dinner as well.

After dinner, mom and I cleared dishes, and dad set up his laptop and began typing away at it. Occasionally he would pause, delete a line, or phrase, and began typing away again. He had some windows open to news sites, and I deduced that he was doing research for Wednesday. My brother and sister took their baths, and ended up in bed by 9. I nervously paced around upstairs as it dawned on me that I was about to take off the mask that hid me from the world.

I had to force myself to take the initial step down the stairs. I gripped the banister until my knuckles turned white. My body didn't seem to want to cooperate with me. I forced myself to take the steps one at a time, till at last, I was downstairs. I released the banister from my grip, and willed myself forward into the living room.

My parents were engrossed in something on TV that I didn't recognize, and I cleared my throat to get their attention.

My dad looked up at me, "Yes, Sam?"

I couldn't find my voice. I stared at them, tongue tied. My mother looked over at me.

"Is everything alright Sam?"

Her voice broke through to me, and I was able to un stick my tongue from the roof of my mouth.

"Mom, Dad, I-I-I'm gay."

A/N: I thought this was a good cut off point. It means there will be 2 more chapters after this one.


	4. Duets

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates. Nasty heat wave here makes it difficult to concentrate on writing. In addition to that I am coming off of a nasty bout of pneumonia that put me in the hospital, along with concern about a possible pulmonary embolism (blood clot on the lung which could be fatal), Oh well. I'm struggling through it though. The anger that I feel from the revelations at SDCC help my body to heal. Some of the dialogue from this chapter is taken verbatim from "Duets". I still don't own Glee, unfortunately.

Malleable

Chapter 4: Duets

Ed'sPOV

My son was standing in the middle of our living room, hands shaking. Scarce moments ago, he had told me that he was gay. This was an announcement that, I daresay, very few parents want to hear. Some, far too many, don't want to hear it because they hate people who are gay. Others don't want to hear it because they fear that their child could be bullied or victimized because of it. Still others have their own reasons, whatever those may be.

When did he become taller than I was? It seemed like only yesterday that we were in Hawaii for a family vacation and I was able to carry him on my shoulders. If I tried to do that now, Ellen would probably be driving me to the hospital.

Last year, when we sent him to Brook Haven, the Christian Boys Boarding School, he objected. He didn't want to go. He worried that he wouldn't fit in. Naturally, I thought that I was acting in his best interest. In retrospect, that was probably a wrong headed move. I had dismissed his concerns, and sent him into an environment that was unwelcoming. In that instance, I had failed as a parent.

Our relationship had been strained by that decision. Sam was more guarded, and insecure about himself after that year at Brook Haven. I just assumed it was an academically rigorous environment that may have contributed to his stress. I also thought it was because our family wasn't blue bloods like the vast majority of the students there. Looking back, with the information just given me, it became quite obvious why he didn't want to go. He went though, probably because he didn't want to disappoint me.

* * *

><p>A sharp jab to my side interrupted my train of thoughts. I looked over to see Ellen giving me an arch look. One that said, quite clearly that she'd never forgive me if I did something stupid.<p>

I looked back over toward my son, my brave son. Tears were brimming at his eyes. He was afraid, of me, of my reaction. Kids shouldn't be afraid of their parents.

I got up from the couch, and closed the distance between Sam and I. I opened my arms, and he fell into them.

He broke down, sobbing, in my arms. "Dad, I'm so sorry."

"Samuel David Evans! Don't ever apologize for being who you are." Ellen said, as she stood up and joined us.

"She's right Sam. You're our son, we love you, and that's not going to change."

Ellen joined our embrace. Sam shifted slightly so he could embrace both of us.

"You know that we're here for you, Sam. Anything you want to talk to us about, you can." I said.

"We don't want you getting hurt." Ellen replied.

A small smile graced Sam's face. "I know. I'm glad this went the way it did."

He disengaged from us. "I think I'm going to go back upstairs and finish some homework. Coach Beiste has us doing a practice early in the morning, can you drive me in early?"

"Sure, Sam. What time do you need to be there?" I replied.

"6:30."

"Lord. Set your alarm, I'll set mine."

"Alright dad."

Sam went back upstairs, leaving us alone in the living room. Ellen turned toward me and we hugged. I gave her a chaste kiss on the lips.

"You handled that well, Ed."

"Dunno how I'm going to handle the rest of it though. I don't know what to tell Stevie and Stacy, or when to tell them. Lord knows how I'm going to handle him having a boyfriend, if that happens."

"Hopefully that will be awhile. He's got a good head on his shoulders though, so I'm not too worried about him. You should get to bed though, since you've got an early start tomorrow."

"Going up now. I'll leave the light on for you."

"Alright. I'll be up shortly."

I went upstairs to our bedroom, and set the alarm clock for 5:45. I turned the bedside lamp on, and settled in for bed.

* * *

><p>SamPOV<p>

I woke up feeling surprisingly refreshed considering that it was 6am. I had slept well because the weight that had been on my chest had lessened. I had faced a major obstacle, and it turned out to be great. It gave me encouragement that I could go forward and make progress on other fronts.

Before heading to bed, I went through the mp3's that Kurt had sent me, listening to all of them. I noticed a particular affection for music from the 60's. He had several songs by the Mamas and the Papas, such as, California Dreamin', Creeque Alley and Dream a Little Dream, in addition to broadway music, the Beatles, and more recent stuff. In short, he was a surprisingly versatile performer. I had immersed myself in Kurt's voice, and I found myself falling in love with it. The pain, the tenderness, the emotion, the wistfulness, the loneliness all called out to me through the various songs that he sang. I thought I found the perfect song for us to sing together, and I sent it out to him before I went to bed.

I quickly got ready, taking a quick shower and throwing on some clothes, before heading downstairs. Dad handed me a breakfast bar, and a glass of OJ which I downed quickly, and we made our way out to the car. We made it to McKinley with a few minutes to spare.

As I reached for the door handle, my dad lightly touched my shoulder. I turned towards him.

"Well, Sam, if you have any problems, you know to talk to a teacher or counselor. If they don't do anything, you can always talk to me or your mother, ok? We're here for you."

"I know, dad. Thanks." I said, as I left the car.

* * *

><p>I hurried to the locker room, and saw that most of the team was there already, changing. I changed into my uniform and made my way out to the field with them. I wouldn't be taking snaps yet due to my shoulder, but I would be running. Which provided me an opportunity to think about my situation both in football, and with Kurt.<p>

In regards to football, Finn was currently starting QB. He was good at it, but he had a tendency to stay inside the pocket. Which meant that he was dependent on our O-line to maintain the pocket so that he could find an open receiver. He couldn't scramble for yards, the way I was able to . Of course, that meant he was less likely to be injured. For that matter, I hadn't really figured out what to do about football and being out at McKinley.

With the duets situation, I still didn't have a good plan of action. I was, once again, lamenting the lack of information that my future self had given me. I figured that erring on the side of caution, and letting events develop was probably the best idea. I didn't know what my decisions would do to the future, so I decided to act as little as possible.

Practice was winding down, with the rest of the team going in. I completed the lap I was running and joined the rest of the team. I showered and wrapped a towel around myself. As I made my way to my locker, Finn approached me.

"So, I hear you're doing a duet with Kurt?" he asked.

"I don't see what the big deal is. He sent me like 60 mp3's of him singing. I thought it was Faith Hill. He's good."

Finn sat down on one of the benches. "Look, this isn't about how good Kurt is. Being in Glee club is like. . . walking down the double yellow lines of a highway. If you get just a little off course you're gonna get crushed."

I grabbed my clothes out of my locker. "Look, I got to be honest. You're kind of confusing my head right now. Do you remember what you said when you talked me into joining Glee? You said that Nationals are gonna be in New York City. And when we come back with that first place trophy, we would be gods."

Pulling on my jeans, I forged ahead. "I joined Glee club because you said it would make me popular. Now you're telling me it's going to get me killed."

Finn responded, "Well, eventually, you're gonna get popular from it, believe me, but until then, you got to lay low a little bit, a-and singing a duet with another dude is not laying low.

I sat down on the bench and pulled my shirt on. "I didn't realize you had a problem with gay dudes."

Finn got a little defensive. "Look, I don't have a problem with gay dudes. Everyone else does, and we're living in their world, and in their world, you singing a duet with Kurt is a death sentence."

I stood up, and shut my locker. "I gave him my word. And in my world, that's that."

* * *

><p>I left the locker room. As I turned the corner to go down the hall, I saw Azimio and Karofsky holding their slushies.<p>

"Welcome to Glee club, ladylips!" Azimio said as they let fly with their slushies, soaking me.

So much for popularity. A hand grabbed my arm and pulled me into a restroom. I opened my eyes to see Quinn. She handed me a towel and turned on the water in the sink.

"The blueberry flavor is the worst, especially if it gets down your pants. I looked like a creature out of Avatar down there when I got slushied." She said.

I raised my head up out of the sink. "I saw Avatar, like, six times."

She paused for a moment, giving me a weird look. "Oh. . . Anyway, you'll get used to it."

Even the head cheerleader wasn't immune to getting slushie facials. "Why would anyone want to get used to it?"

Quinn looked at something behind me. "Well. . . I like singing, and they were kind to me when I wasn't on top last year. They're a good group of people. You should stay with it."

* * *

><p>She had given me some food for thought. Even people who on the surface seem concerned with popularity might actually be looking for deeper, meaningful friendships. For one of the most popular people in school, Glee was that outlet for her. It also may have been that for Finn too. Or, he might actually honestly believe that nonsense about Glee club being a route to popularity. If so, he probably should get an exam for concussions from football related injuries.<p>

It seemed as if I had backed myself into a corner. By virtue of being a member of Glee Club I had opened myself to getting slushied. That was just the beginning. If I backed out now, who was to say what would occur? Would I have to prove myself to Azimio and Karofsky? Would I be expected to bully people? Would I be exempt from slushies? Would I be expected to slushy people?

No. None of that would be acceptable. I wasn't going to be anything but myself. I was going to be in Glee, I would try to remain on the football team. I was going to sing that duet.

Having given myself my marching orders, I went to my locker and grabbed my books for class. I had two classes before we went to the choir room for Glee, for third period.* It wasn't a class, it was how we used our study hall and Mr. Schu used one of his planning periods.

The first class of the day was English. We talked about some of the concepts discussed in Cat's Cradle. The concept of a granfalloon was particularly appealing. Basically, it was a concept of false belonging. People who share a fake identity that has no meaningful connection. Like, being one of the popular kids in high school. We discussed that concept extensively, while the teacher dodged the satirical take on religion that Vonnegut explored. Mrs. Keene probably didn't want to get in trouble with the school board for indoctrinating the students against religion or some nonsense.

Second period brought me to geometry. I liked geometry because the rules were reasonably simple to follow, and they worked. The area of a triangle is always going to be ½ b x h. The angles would always equal 180 degrees. Etc. Just remember the rules and take legible notes and you're good to go for the most part.

The bell rang loudly, announcing that 2nd period was over. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, and made my way to the choir room for Glee. I was the last one there, and the only seat not taken was next to Quinn. I sat down in it, and looked over at Kurt and waved. He didn't see me wave. He seemed distracted. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to talk to him because Mr. Schu started in on a lecture.

"It seems like everyone's found a duet partner, except Quinn, and that's because we're one short with Puck gone. I don't know how to resolve this."

I raised my hand. "Yeah, Sam?"

"I already have a duet partner with Kurt, but it doesn't seem fair to punish her for it, so I'd sing another duet with her if that's permissible?"

Finn turned around and gave me a discreet thumbs up. Damnit. Now I looked like I didn't want to sing with Kurt. Kurt looked at me with a quizzical expression on his face. His brow furrowed a little.

Santana naturally assumed the worst. "Clearly, Sam just wants as many chances as possible to get the all you can eat dinner for two at Breadstix. Not that it matters to me, because after you hear me and Mercedes, we can just end the competition."

"Are you two ready to go then?" Mr. Schu asked of them.

"I was born ready Mr. Schu." Mercedes said.

They did an amazing rendition of "River Deep, Mountain High" by Ike and Tina Turner. They were good. They had good choreography, and their voices went well together. Santana had a surprisingly good contralto, and Mercedes was awesome. Mike Chang, however, was paying far more attention to Santana's butt though. Didn't really do anything for me, or Kurt. I looked over at him with a grin on my face. He still didn't notice, staring ahead.

They finished up their duet, and Santana had a smug expression on her face. "I already ordered Mercedes and me two special bibs because we be goin' to Breadstix!"

Mike and Tina went next. They performed "Sing!" Tina really brought her A-game. It didn't hurt that Mike was pretty damn good as a dancer. I noticed Kurt looking concerned about them. From a competitive standpoint, I was concerned too. It was a rather creative choice that poked fun at Mike's lack of singing ability, in a good way, while still allowing them to be choreographed.

Mr. Schu was quite fulsome in his praise. "Now that is a duet! Thank you Tina for introducing us to the amazing singing voice of Mike Chang!"

The bell rang, signaling the end of the period. Great. Kurt was out the door like a bat out of hell, and I had to go to Gym class. Which meant that I couldn't go looking for him to talk.

* * *

><p>It was relatively easy to drown the thoughts of the situation I was in with exercise and concentrating on the game at hand. It was basketball, so it was reasonably fast paced, and time went by quickly.<p>

I was sweaty, so I decided to take a shower, before heading to lunch. I had squeezed some shampoo into my hand and was rubbing it into my scalp when I heard the sound of someone clearing their throat behind me. I turned, and, of course, it was Kurt.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to go all shawshank on you."

I was a little off put by his sudden appearance. "This is a little weird. Guys don't usually talk to one another in here."

He launched right into what he wanted to say. "This can't wait. I'm setting you free. You can do your duet with Quinn. The world would deem her to be more appropriate."

Ah. "Did me trying to help her out offend you?"

He shook his head. "No, no, I . . . it's not you, it's me. You've been honorable. I've realized though that I need to sing with someone who matches my passion and talent level." He said, sadly.

"So, in other words, you're singing alone. Did you see the email I sent you?"

"No, I didn't have time to check it this morning."

A glimmer of hope. "Can you check it from your phone?"

Kurt nodded. "Yeah, I'd have to go to the parking lot to get a good signal, but I can."

"Well, Kurt, before you think about just tossing me aside, check out the song I sent, and maybe you'll reconsider. I'll be skipping lunch to work on my astronomy homework, so I'll be up there if you want to talk about it. Even if you still don't want to do the duet with me, I still want to talk to you ok?"

He gestured at the bottle of shampoo I was using. "I don't see why not. You do know that they make special shampoo for color treated hair?"

Back to this eh. He could be persistent about things. "Dude, I don't dye my hair." I said in a monotone voice.

"Uh-huh." Kurt said as he strode out of the locker room.

I finished up, and changed back into my regular clothes. Grabbing my astronomy book, I hurried up to the empty classroom so that I could finish answering some of the questions in the book before that class started.

A couple of minutes later, the door clicked open. Kurt came in, blotting his eyes.

Before I could say anything, he spoke. "So, I looked at the emails you sent. The first two songs were good choices. Safe. There's some depth to you Sam Evans. The third song is what got me though." He sighed deeply, before continuing, "After I approached you on Friday, Finn talked to me at lunch. He basically said that I didn't give a damn about the club if I sang with you, that it would be a death sentence and you'd have to leave the team. He couldn't wrap his head around the concept that I just wanted to sing with you."

I nodded my head. "Yeah, he talked to me about it this morning. I told him that I didn't plan on backing down from a duet with you, that I gave you my word, and that was that."

Kurt placed his hand in front of his eyes. "Thank you." He whispered softly.

I closed the book, and got up from the desk. I went over to where he was standing and sat down on the table in front of. I took his free hand in both of mine and spoke softly to him. "Yesterday, while listening to your mp3s, I had a bit of a realization. I realized that I didn't want to live an existence where I was in constant fear of being outed. I didn't want to live an existence where I would have to constantly worry about slipping up and saying the wrong thing, or giving the wrong look, or reacting the wrong way."

Kurt let his hand fall from his eyes. They were wide open, and staring right through me. "Anyway, I listened to all of them, and I came out to my parents. They were great about it. I also kind of fell in love with your voice. You convey so much through your singing. And, I think I could see myself wanting to get to know the person behind the voice better. Maybe do a duet with him that wins the competition so we can go to Breadstix. Even though the food there is not that great."

Kurt laughed a little at that. "Maybe even see a movie together, or something. Or I could show you my comic book collection? Maybe not? I actually don't dye my hair. It's lemon juice. Technically not dye. So I wasn't lying. You probably know a better method of treating hair though?" Kurt nodded.

Before I could continue in that vein, Kurt interjected. "Sam, you're babbling. Let's do the duet together. I was thinking you could take the first verse, I'll take the second. Then you sing the next verse, and I follow, and we both sing the end?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

The lunch bell rang. Kurt tentatively embraced me. He spoke softly into my ear, "I think I'm falling for a lemon head who's absolutely amazing." A grin split his face, reaching his eyes.

"Lor menari."

"Hmm?"

"It's Nav'i. The Avatar language. Means you have beautiful eyes."

Kurt sighed, happily, before leaving the classroom. The rest of the school day passed in a blur, and I found myself waiting for my mom to pick me up. I had a permit, but we hadn't had a chance to go hunting for a cheap car yet.

* * *

><p>Mom pulled up to the front of the school, and I got in the passengers seat. I buckled up my seat belt and we drove off.<p>

"How was your day today, Sam?" She asked.

"It was great mom."

"That's good. Do you have any homework?"

"Yeah, I have some reading to do, and a little math, and some astronomy. I might be introducing you and dad to someone soon."

Mom arched her eyebrow at me carefully. "Oh?"

"Yeah."

"I see. Well, if this Kurt can see you as the wonderful person you are, he can't be too bad. Don't rush into anything though."

We arrived at the elementary school where Stevie and Stacy went. "I know mom."

I buckled Stacy in the backseat and we drove home. We got home and I went up to my room. I didn't have much homework, so I turned on my Xbox and popped in Call of Duty. I played the multiplayer on that for about an hour, before I got bored with it. I wondered if any of the guys in Glee had accounts on Xbox Live. Might be worth asking about.

I booted up my computer, and checked my email. Kurt had emailed me wanting to know if it would be alright if we sang tomorrow. Quinn had also emailed me with some song suggestions. I sent back an email confirming her selection of "Just my Imagination" and I got to work listening to the song on youtube. I found a version by Gwyneth Paltrow and Babyface and sent Quinn the link to it. Ironically, it was from a movie called "Duets". I thought we'd get bonus points for that, at least.

I worked on the rest of my homework, getting my English reading out of the way first. I heard the front door open, and my brother and sister yell out "Daddy!", indicating that my dad was home from work. My stomach rumbled. I suppose just eating a breakfast bar and skipping lunch probably wasn't the best idea.

I went downstairs and got a glass of water. "Hi dad."

"Hey Sam. How was school today?"

"The usual." I said in a noncommittal tone.

"I see. Probably didn't pay attention for half the day then. Ask someone out?"

"Yep." I smiled.

"Don't rush into things."

"That's what mom said."

"And if it goes anywhere, we'll want to meet them." dad said, using careful word selection in front of Stevie and Stacy, who weren't really paying attention anyway.

"I think that can be arranged."

"Ok then."

We settled in and ate dinner. I wasn't feeling as self-conscious about my body as I normally did, so I took a second helping. I finished up, and went upstairs to finish my homework and checked my email. Quinn confirmed the song selection, and said she would be fine performing it on Wednesday.

* * *

><p>Before long, I found myself drifting off to sleep. I gave in to the sensation and was out before 9. I had forgot to change my alarm time, so I woke up early. That gave me time to go through the song we were doing today. I went through my verses a couple of times, feeling more confident that I could at least keep up with Kurt.<p>

I showered, and put on my outfit for the day. I went downstairs and fixed myself a bowl of oatmeal and a glass of OJ. I really should have changed my alarm clock to later in the morning. I rinsed my bowl and glass and put them in the dishwasher.

My dad came down a few minutes later and started the coffee pot up.

"You're up with the devil this morning." He commented.

"Yeah, forgot to change the time on my alarm."

"So, wanna tell me about this person you might be introducing us to?"

"His name's Kurt, and he's in Glee club with me. He's basically awesome."

"Well, your mother and I will want to meet him at some point."

"I know dad."

The rest of the family trudged downstairs and began the day. Soon enough, we were in the car, and dad was driving us to school.

"I was wondering if we could go look for a car this weekend dad?"

"I suppose we could do that. Maybe on Saturday or Sunday."

"Thanks dad."

We pulled up to McKinley and I got out, waving bye to my brother and sister. I went to my English class, and waited for the day to start. Mrs. Keene gave a pop quiz over the material, which I got done with fairly quickly. Normally, it pays to be prepared, but not today. I drew things in the back of my notebook while I waited for the other people to finish the quiz.

I watched the minute hand of the clock move ponderously forward. The kids who hadn't studied probably didn't want to get called on, so they were going to take as much time as possible on the quiz so as to run out the clock so to speak. As a result, a quiz that, at most should take like 10 to 15 minutes took a half hour to complete.

Finally the last paper was handed in, and we could discuss. Mrs. Keene decided to touch on the issue of scientific pursuit. I raised my hand.

"Yes, Sam."

"I was just thinking about Dr. Felix Honeikker. He seemed to be a parallel for the scientists in the Manhattan Project and how they thought that the atomic bomb might destroy the world, yet they were determined to go ahead with the project in spite of that. He strikes me as a fairly tragic character, in that his research is the only thing that gives him meaning. He doesn't have any personal relationships, and he barely acknowledges the existence of his own children."

"That's very insightful Sam."

That was me. Well, not me right now. Certainly, it seemed to be the person I would become in the future. The difference seemed to be self awareness. Similarly, though, we both had the willingness to potentially destroy the universe for our own happiness. Which was kind of appalling. I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind as the bell rang.

That person from the future wasn't me. It was who I could become.

I made my way to geometry. I began to think about my performance that was coming up in scant minutes. What if I was horrible? What if they thought I was terrible? What if they made fun of me? I breathed in deeply, exhaling. I couldn't back out now, obviously. I didn't want to be alone and unloved. I attempted to refocus on the lesson at hand and took detailed notes.

* * *

><p>My confidence was shot as the bell rang, signaling the end of 2nd period. I made my way down to the choir room, moving like molasses, yet going faster than I thought possible. Kurt was waiting outside the room for me.<p>

"I printed off the sheet music for the ensemble. It's not too late to back out if you want to." He said with a false smile on his face.

I reflected back on the conversation that I had with my future self 2 days ago. It almost seemed like it had happened in another life. Him sobbing as he heard Kurt's voice singing, him begging me to fight for him. That was the difference between myself and Dr. Hoenikker. I was aware of my own unhappiness. I was aware, and I could change it.

"Santana and Mercedes would never let it go that they won the competition." I said, giving him a playful tap on the shoulder. "Let's do this."

"Thank you, Sam."

"Thank you, Kurt."

We walked in the choir room together and sat down. Finn frowned slightly at us before looking ahead. He radiated disapproval. I shrugged. He was dressed in a Priest shirt with collar, so maybe he was just getting into character. Rachel was dressed in a black outfit with a white lace collar. Kind of like a catholic schoolgirl. I wasn't entirely sure what they were going to be doing with the outfits. Maybe a religious song?

Kurt leaned over and whispered in my ear. "It's ok. He'll figure it out by the end of the period . . Or not." I chuckled a little at that, smiling at him.

Mr. Schu walked in, setting some things down on the desk before addressing the class.

"It looks like Artie and Brittany have pulled out of the duets competition. This leaves Finn and Rachel, Sam and Kurt, and Sam and Quinn."

Rachel stood up with Finn. "We'll go first." she said, brooking no disapproval.

They began their performance. It was. . .interesting to say the least. The lyrics were rather overt, which was odd, given the costume choices they had. Oh God.

"Tell me this isn't happening." Mercedes said out loud.

They finished their song. Mike clapped briefly, before Tina grabbed his hands mouthing "no".

"Ok, do I even need to say it?" Mercedes said.

I chuckled a little, due to the subject matter, "That was rude."

Tina agreed. "It was like, really rude."

Quinn looked ill. "I seriously wanted to like, punch both of you."

Mr. Schu got up, shaking his head. "I have to agree. It's a great duet, but what you did with it was really inappropriate. Your costume choices were really insensitive. Frankly. . . I'm disappointed."

Rachel had the temerity to look angry. "I'm shocked! I-I hope this doesn't cost us the competition."

"Well, I think we can just get right into the next duet." Kurt raised his hand. "Yeah Kurt?"

"Mr. Schu, if we may?"

"You may."

I stood up with Kurt and walked down in front of the piano. Kurt handed the sheet music to the Jazz ensemble, and they looked at us. The drummer winked, and one of the trumpet players smiled at us.

Kurt turned and began speaking. "As many of you know, I picked Sam as my duet partner. That irritated some people's sensibilities. Sam and I discussed the matter, and we've decided to forge ahead with our duet. Just because I'm different doesn't mean that I should be alone."

I piped in. "I couldn't have asked for a better partner." Rachel scowled at that remark.

"Thank you Sam. Take it away."

The trumpet began playing softly, and the drummer began softly tapping his brush against the cymbals. After a few seconds of that, I began singing. Our surroundings seemed to fade out of focus as I concentrated on singing to Kurt.

You're just too good to be true.  
>Can't take my eyes off you.<br>You'd be like Heaven to touch.  
>I wanna hold you so much.<br>At long last love has arrived  
>And I thank God I'm alive.<br>You're just too good to be true.  
>Can't take my eyes off you.<p>

Kurt turned toward me as he began to sing the second verse. His voice was warm and sad simultaneously.

Pardon the way that I stare.  
>There's nothing else to compare.<br>The sight of you leaves me weak.  
>There are no words left to speak,<br>But if you feel like I feel,  
>Please let me know that it's real.<br>You're just too good to be true.  
>Can't take my eyes off you.<p>

There was a brief pause to allow the beat to accelerate before I came back with the third verse of the song.

I love you, baby,  
>And if it's quite alright,<br>I need you, baby,  
>To warm a lonely night.<br>I love you, baby.  
>Trust in me when I say:<br>Oh, pretty baby,  
>Don't bring me down, I pray.<br>Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay  
>And let me love you, baby.<br>Let me love you.

As I sang, I moved toward Kurt, and he backed away, emphasizing both his apprehension and that he thought the experience wasn't real. He did a really good job conveying it. I knelt in front of him for the last portion of the verse. The beat got a little softer as Kurt began to sing the next verse.

You're just too good to be true.  
>Can't take my eyes off you.<br>You'd be like Heaven to touch.  
>I wanna hold you so much.<br>At long last love has arrived  
>And I thank God I'm alive.<br>You're just too good to be true.  
>Can't take my eyes off you.<p>

He pulled me up from the floor as we began to sing the final verse together.

I love you, baby,  
>And if it's quite alright,<br>I need you, baby,  
>To warm a lonely night.<br>I love you, baby.  
>Trust in me when I say:<p>

Oh, pretty baby,  
>Don't bring me down, I pray.<br>Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay

Oh pretty baby trust in me when I say

I need you baby,

Oh won't you come my way

Oh pretty baby

Now that I found you stay

And let me love you baby

Let me love you.

Somehow, during all of that, we had gotten extremely close to one another. Kurt's face was flushed, and my hair was hanging down in front of my eyes. I leaned forward, tentatively, to capture his lips with my own. Applause brought us out of our reverie, and we pulled back from each other.

"Wanky!" Santana said. She had a friendly smile that I reciprocated with a shrug of my shoulders.

Brittany, Tina and Mercedes were clapping and smiling from ear to ear, Quinn was beaming. Rachel even seemed happy. The guys seemed a little less comfortable with it, but even so, it was alright.

We took our seats together. Mr. Schu went back to the front of the classroom. "Sam, Kurt, that was very well done!"

Quinn went up to talk to Mr. Schu. They talked for a moment, and then Mr. Schu addressed the club.

"Quinn's pulling out of her duet with Sam. That means we can take it to a vote. Write your choice on a piece of paper and I'll collect them."

I ripped a piece of paper out of my notebook and wrote Mike and Tina on it. I knew we did a great job, but it seemed tacky to vote for yourself. Mr. Schu came around and gathered the slips of paper up and began tallying them.

"Drumroll please." The drummer obliged.

"By a tally of 5 to 4, the winner of the duets competition is Sam and Kurt!" We went down to collect the gift certificate, and then took a bow. The bell rang, signaling the end of the period.

Kurt walked up to me. "So when do you want to use this?"

"How about Friday? Can you pick me up around 7?"

"Don't have a car?"

"I turn 16 in December, so I only have a permit."

"Well my dad owns a garage, so he usually knows where to find a good used car if you're in need."

"My dad and I will have to take him up on that. See you Friday?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." I briefly hugged him, and he went out to class.

As I was walking out the door, Quinn approached me.

"Sam, that was great. Um. . . I didn't know you were" her voice dropped into a whisper "gay, and I don't want to complicate things, so I thought it's best that we not do the duet."

I understood where she was coming from, "I don't think that would have been a problem."

"Well, Sam, it might have been. Thanks for trying to help me though, I appreciate it." She walked away.

* * *

><p>The rest of the week passed by on autopilot. Before I knew it, it was Friday evening, and I was opening the door.<p>

"Kurt, would you come in for a minute?"

"Sure, Sam."

I walked with him into the living room, where my parents were settling in to watch Aladdin with Stevie and Stacy.

"Mom, Dad, this is Kurt. We're going out tonight."

My dad stood up and extended his hand. "Hi Kurt, I'm Ed Evans. Don't be out too late." he said, with a smile on his face.

My mom pulled him into a hug, which he reciprocated. "We've been looking forward to meeting you!"

So had I.

*At the beginning of the episode of Duets, they are in the choir room for a meeting and there's a clock on the wall who's time corresponds to about 10:20. Hence, Glee as a daytime class meeting:

A/N: The song they performed is Can't Take My Eyes off You by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. One more chapter and we're done. Feel free to read and review.


	5. Adjustments

A/N: Well, this is the final chapter of the story. What happens next is up to you. Review, and let me know what scene/scenes you want me to write in the context of the timeline of the story and I will do my level best to write it. Still don't own Glee.

Malleable

Chapter 5: Adjustments

FutureSamPov

The blackness was not unfamiliar. I floated, once again, in darkness. Soon, I would see if it worked. The years of my life I poured into this experiment, the money spent on the hardware. All so I could attempt to find love with Kurt.

Rather selfish of me. I didn't deserve him. The person who would pour years of his life into self centered research did not deserve Kurt.

The dimension I was in began to alter itself slightly. I felt myself being reoriented as it shifted. Light poured in from an unknown source. It was different from the light that had assisted me in going back. This light had different hues to it, and swirled around me.

The light entered me. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. Akin to a brain freeze, it felt like a pressure in my head.

It got worse. The area I was in began spinning as it continued to alter. New memories began to be planted in my mind and my old memories began to be extracted. The pressure in my head increased. It felt like an awl was boring into both of my temples. The memories began to flow faster and faster. I didn't have the ability to process them due to the pain.

I closed my eyes against the pain and the effects of the spinning. The spinning began to slow, and the pressure inside my head eased up.

The universe bottomed out and I was deposited in an ungraceful heap on the floor. I opened my eyes. The generators were still creating massive amounts of electricity. They were overheating. I struggled to my feet and staggered over to my computer. I entered in the password and accessed my computer.

The screen came to life with a display of various photos. Kurt and I in Paris. Kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower. Our tenth anniversary. It worked! My god it worked!

The explosion of the first generator threw me back into the wall. It set off a chain reaction with the other generators beginning to go offline as well. The electricity began to ebb, but not before an arc of it blew up the computer I was standing at mere moments before.

Fire licked up the wall slowly as smoke began to choke the air. The sprinkler system finally kicked in. I crawled toward the door to the lab, reaching my hand up to the scanner to let me out. I attempted to get up by bracing myself against the wall, and slowly staggered down the hall, making my way toward the atrium.

I saw one of the fire alarm systems attached to the wall. I pulled it down, triggering the alarm that sounded through the building.

A few students were making their way out of the various labs that were in the building.

"Dr. Evans?" One of them called out. "Are you alright?"

I coughed heavily, struggling to take in a breath. Wheezing, I gasped, "Please, call an ambulance." before falling to the ground.

* * *

><p>KurtPOV<p>

"Mr. Evans, you have a phone call." My new assistant, Robert said.

"You can just call me Kurt, Robert. Who's calling?"

"A Dr. Halsted from MIT, he says it urgent."

"Transfer him in, please."

The phone beeped, signaling the incoming call. I picked up.

"Dr. Halsted."

"Kurt, Sam's at Massachusetts General. There was an accident in the lab this morning."

"What happened!"

"There was a fire in the lab, along with an explosion. Sam suffered some cracked ribs and a little bit of smoke inhalation. He should be ok though."

I let out a whoosh of air that I didn't realize I was keeping in. "Thank you for calling me Dr. Halsted. I'm going to head down to the hospital now. Have a good day."

"Not a problem Kurt. Goodbye." The line went dead.

I grabbed my keys and coat and exited my office. I walked over to Robert's area. "Robert, my husband is in the hospital. I'm going there, so you'll need to reschedule my meetings for today and tomorrow."

"Will do, boss."

I hurried out of the office and drove to Massachusetts General. I made my way to the admissions desk and found out that Sam was in room 4209. I took the elevator up to 4 and searched for the room.

The door was ajar, so I walked in. Sam had an oxygen mask on to deal with the smoke inhalation, and he was on an IV. The worst part about it was the hospital gown that he was "wearing". Positively criminal.

He was asleep, and I didn't want to wake him up. Despite the mask, he looked so peaceful. He always did when he was asleep. There was a newspaper on the table in the room, so I took a look at the headlines. I was unsurprised to see Sam's father quoted in an article discussing the latest budget debate in Washington. Senator Edward Evans was two years into his 4th term as a senator from Ohio. He was attempting to kill, via amendment, a tax bill that would lower taxes primarily for the wealthy. Ed was offering amendments to lower tax rates on payroll taxes and those who would be considered middle class tax payers. I figured that between him, and Ohio's junior Senator, one Sue Sylvester, that they would get their way.

I set the paper down and turned back to look at Sam. Warm green eyes locked with my own. His hand went to take off the mask.

He coughed a little bit. "You're an angel out of heaven."

"So, what happened in the lab today?"

"Remember, back at McKinley High when your step brother tried to pressure us out of doing the duet together?"

"Yes, and you talked me out of it, what about it?"

"Well. . . that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't done what I did in the lab today."

I arched an eyebrow at him. He responded, "Time travel, Kurt. I went back to Lima and had a conversation with my younger self about the situation. He listened."

Ah. "Yeah, I remember you telling me about that on our honeymoon. Something to the effect that you risked the universe for me."

He hit the button that raised up the bed so he could sit up. "I haven't spoken with the doctors yet, but I think they'll keep you overnight."

"Well, in that case, I think we should have an Avatar marathon."

"The things I do for love. I'll bring the kids by after school. I reckon the hospital would be alright with me bringing in a couple of pizzas for dinner."

"I love you Kurt."

"I love you too, Sam."

"Sing for me?"

"Certainly, dear."

I decided to change it up, and sang a song in a lower register. Nat King Cole's song Love came to mind.

L is for the way you look at me  
>O is for the only one I see<br>V is very, very extraordinary  
>E is even more than anyone that you adore can<p>

Love is all that I can give to you  
>Love is more than just a game for two<br>Two in love can make it  
>Take my heart and please don't break it<br>Love was made for me and you

It was a short song, not that it mattered to Sam. His smile lit up the room.

"I'm glad that I have a friendly audience."

"I could boo and heckle if you wanted."

"You could."

He paused momentarily. "So, I was thinking. . ."

"As a Nobel Prize winning scientist should. . . "

"I think I'm going to talk to the Dean and Dr. Halsted about reducing my workload on campus. I want to spend more time with the kids. I want to be able to be at Alec's debate tournaments. I want to be at Elizabeth's recitals, and I want to be at Michael's little league games. I want to be there for you as well. It probably won't be till the spring semester starts though."

"Yeah. We haven't spent this much time together during the day in forever. If you're not working, I am. You know how it is. We haven't watched Brittany's talk show in forever, and it's on now."

Sam laughed. "I'll turn it on."

He did and we tuned in to "It's Brittany!" Brittany was still herself, and would still catch people off guard with the most random questions or statements. It was an excellent way to waste an hour of your day.

One of the nurses brought in lunch for Sam. While he ate, the attending physician came in and confirmed the information that Dr. Halsted had given me over the phone. The afternoon passed slowly but I soon found myself picking up the kids from high school and elementary school. We went home and dropped off their school stuff before picking up a couple of pizzas and heading back to the hospital.

"I can't believe we're watching Avatar again." Alec said.

"Well, this weekend we can watch what you want." I replied.

"Ok dads."

We managed to get through the first two movies in the trilogy by the time visiting hours came to an end.

"I'll be here in the morning to pick you up. I love you Sam."

"I'll be waiting. I love you too."

The kids and I left the hospital and drove home. The Avatar movies weren't their cup of tea, so they were, for the most part, ready for bed when we got home. They got ready for, and went to bed. I went up to our bedroom and showered and did my moisturizing routine. Sleep eluded me though. I missed him.

I missed him even when we were in the same house together. He was always focused on his work. It stemmed from the experience in high school when his family was briefly homeless. He didn't want that to ever happen, so he was almost constantly working. He took on new projects at the drop of a hat. He would fly out of the country to conferences, or go work for the military doing contract work on weapons systems. There were times early in our marriage where I wouldn't hear from him for several weeks.

I was also guilty of the same. I was working to establish my reputation as a designer, which required me to fly around the world going to shows and work long hours with only my fabric samples.

Things settled down after we decided to have a child via surrogate. Alec was our eldest, at 15. He took after me, in that he was more vivacious and outgoing. He was co-captain of the debate team.

After Alec was born, we decided to settle in Boston, where Sam could work doing research, and I could design. Boston was close enough to New York that I wasn't really away from the fashion scene, and by then I was established enough that I could miss some shows, or send my employees in my stead.

Three years later, we had another child via surrogate. Michael took after Sam in that he was the athlete, and comic book reader. The various strains that our marriage encountered affected him more than the others. He was sensitive, like both Sam and I, but he hadn't yet developed the means to bury his disappointments.

Our last child was Elizabeth. She was 8 and a cross between Sam and Rachel Berry. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Musically gifted, obviously, and not just vocally. Like Rachel, she lived for the performance, and like Sam, she could freeze out the rest of the world.

Most couples fought about having too little money. We fought because we had too much and he wanted or needed more.

In spite of all of that, we had many good memories. When it counted, he was there. He probably had missed 75% of Michaels' games last season, but he showed up for the playoffs and cheered the loudest when he caught a player out in the 9th inning.

He wasn't particularly good at following debate rounds, as the speakers tended to speak at an accelerated rate. He was good at putting the spotlight on arguments that could be useful to a judge who wasn't schooled in debate though.

When Sam gave his attention to you, you had him. Unfortunately, that wasn't often. He wasn't perfect, and I wasn't perfect. He seemed different though. Normally, he wouldn't be able to go more than a few moments without checking his phone for messages. He had spent a whole afternoon unconcerned about things, just enjoying himself. It was strange, after years of working non stop. I wondered if he was changing, and what those changes would hold for us. I fell asleep dwelling on the good memories, and the memories we would make in the future.

* * *

><p>SamPOV<p>

I awoke the next morning feeling relatively refreshed. Over night, I had a chance to reflect on the set of memories I had to deal with. It was troubling to see myself so obsessed with my work. Dr. Halsted was certainly more friendly to me, rather than the adversary that he previously was. It had to do with the fact that I cared about my work. I had hostages to fortune after all. Kurt, and the children.

I sighed deeply, forgetting about the damage to my ribs. Pain lanced through my body, setting me on edge. Things weren't perfect between Kurt and I. Which was disappointing. Even worse, was that I was a large contributor to that imperfection.

Over the years, I had become complacent with the gift that was my life. Rather, the Sam who I spoke to many years ago had become complacent. I was him, to be sure, and I had his memories, but I also retained the feelings of loneliness that I had dealt with for so long. Kurt seemed a bit taken aback with how I was yesterday, which I think was a crucial first step in attempting to reestablish a rapport with him, and work on our marriage. The phone on the table rang. I reached over and answered it.

"Good morning Mr. Evans. I was wondering if you wanted to order anything for breakfast?"

"I think I'll be getting out of here shortly, so I should be alright. Thanks though."

"You're welcome. Have a good day."

Looking up at the clock, I saw that it was 8:30. Kurt had dropped the kids off at school already, and was probably on his way here.

There was a light knock on the door. "Come in!"

A nurse entered the room. Her name tag read "Sheila."

"Hi, I'm just here to remove your IV and get you ready to get out of here." She said.

"That's good to hear. I was getting tired of being cooped up in here."

Sheila had me hold the gauze in place while she removed the tape holding the IV in place. I winced as the tape pulled at the hairs on my arm, and then winced a little more as I felt the needle go out of my arm. I pressed down and held the gauze in place.

As I was doing that, Kurt walked in. "I brought you some fresh clothes. Do you want to shower here, or at home?"

"Well, I was thinking home."

"Home it is then, Sam."

I went into the restroom, and changed out of my hospital wear into a polo and some jeans. The doctor came into the room as I was leaving the restroom with the information that pertained to my discharge from the hospital. There was a prescription for some painkillers, and a follow up appointment in two weeks for an x ray.

I signed the relevant paperwork and we left the hospital. Our arms dangled close to each other as we walked toward the car. On impulse, I linked hands with Kurt. He turned toward me with a smile on his face.

"Something must have gotten knocked loose in that accident."

"Something like that."

Kurt unlocked the doors and we both got in. He drove us to the pharmacy where we had filled the prescription and made our way home.

"General Richardson from the Pentagon called this morning. Said he was trying to get a hold of you but your phone was going straight to voicemail."

"Hmmm. Must have been damaged in the lab fire. I'll have to get a new one later this week. Did he say what he wanted?"

"Not to me, but I imagine he wants the brilliant Sam Evans to work on another project."

"I guess I'll give him a call."

"His information is on the whiteboard in the kitchen."

I went to the kitchen and brought the whiteboard into the living room. I picked up the phone and dialed the number provided.

"This is General Richardson."

"General. Dr. Sam Evans, I understand you've been trying to get a hold of me?"

"Evans! That's correct. We have a project that we need a person like you for, that starts this weekend."

"Sir, I just got out of the hospital. Bad accident in my lab. I'm afraid I have to decline. Can I recommend someone?"

"If you must." he said, rather tersely.

"Dr. Max Halsted is my department chair, but I think he'd be up for some work like that. If not, he could probably recommend someone to work on it."

"Well, alright. I suppose there will be other projects that you can work with us on."

"Actually. . . about that. . ."

"Hmm?"

"I'm going to be curbing the amount of work I do each year. I'm teaching a full load of classes, in addition to publishing requirements by the university. I'm probably going to end up cutting back on the work I do for the government."

"That's unfortunate. Well. . . we can't force you to work for us." General Richardson said in a tone that indicated that he wished that he could.

"Indeed. Perhaps when the project is nearing completion I can come in and see if there are any improvements to be made. That would take significantly less time out of my schedule."

"Alright. Just email me Dr. Halsted's information, and I'll contact him."

"Will do. Have a good day, General."

Click.

"You've never turned him down before." Kurt said from behind me.

I looked over my shoulder at him. "Well, I did just get out of the hospital. Plus I meant what I said about reducing my workload."

"It's one thing to hear you say it."

"I know. I'm trying though. I just. . .want to be worthy of you again. I want to be there for the kids more than I am now."

"Sam. You always were worthy of me."

I walked over to him and let one of my hands caress his cheek. "Kurt. . .I haven't been showing you that though. And that's what is important."

He leaned into my touch. "You probably should call Dr. Halsted up."

"Yeah, I should do that." I went back over to the phone and dialed his office number. I got his voicemail.

"Max, this is Sam. General Richardson over at DARPA wanted me to come in for a project. Unfortunately, I had to decline because I just got out of the hospital this morning. I recommended you for the project. If you're unavailable, do you think you could recommend someone else for it? Also, I was wondering about cutting the seminar from next semester? It's not very well attended, and there's not much interest. Could you email me?"

I went to the office that we shared and grabbed my laptop, bringing it to the living room. I logged in, and emailed General Richardson Max's contact information. I set the laptop down on the coffee table and turned toward Kurt.

"Wanna watch some TV, or a movie?"

"Sure Sam."

I put Chicago into the UMD player and waited for Kurt to join me. My computer pinged, indicating that I had an email. Dr. Halsted had emailed me back. I read over the email and he indicated that cutting the seminar was acceptable. He also wanted to know about what happened in the lab. I replied that it was an attempt to prove that Time Travel was actually possible, and that the experiment was a failure, and that the data was a total loss. I indicated my willingness to chair the endowment fund raising committee in December to reimburse the school for the cost of the damages.

Kurt came in and sat down on the couch with me. I leaned back, using him as my pillow. He laughed a little and lightly began running his fingers through my hair. His other arm wrapped lightly around me, bringing me closer to him.

"So, I managed to trim my spring schedule. I won't volunteer myself for summer classes this year, so I was thinking that we could have the kids visit my parents, or yours and we could go to Paris for a couple of weeks, if that's ok with you?"

His kiss was all the answer I needed.


End file.
